Cardio, noooooo!!!

(I just have to say, I was late getting this post up because I was too busy getting drunk in a movie theater watching Prometheus in 3D. And after reading it, I realize I am totally one of those people that works out like, twice a week, and considers it a success.Typically, I just find there is something I would way rather do than workout and yeah, I pay for it with a back that hurts and way too many hangovers, but shit, I have a lot of fun.

I know I don’t want to speed up my aging cause I’m a vain bitch, but I know that’s exactly what will happen if I stay this lazy and this consistently drunk. I really do want to make some minor tweaks to my lifestyle (which I imagine is where a lot of us are .. not yet at the 5-6 days of cardio this guy suggests, pft, but starting slow is still something to be proud of!) For my part, I’m still waiting for my initial motivation to kick in…hoping these So0obro posts push me there. Enjoy!)

What’s up CWPL readers?! SO0o Bro is back with more fitness advice for you drunk-ass Hipsters. Lil’ Lou sent me the hundreds of emails you sent her and I was surprised to see what most of you wanted to know about.

Besides wondering if I’m single or not (971-227-8345 – find out for yourself), the next most asked question was about different CARDIO workouts to shred the FAT. Knowing that most of you readers drink A LOT, I’m guessing that running is not your best friend (SHIT, you probably hate working out and are just reading this post because your friends with Lil’ Lou). So, I’m going to give you some different CARDIO workouts to choose from and YOU can choose which one works best for you.

YES, PLEASE!!!
First off, it should be mentioned that Cardio, actually working out in general, SUCKS. Working out for the first time after a long break can be very exciting as well as defeating. YOU NEED TO REMEMBER IT GETS BETTER. That soreness that you’re hating so much will eventually go away and you might actually miss it once it’s gone! That shortness of breath from running around the block will eventually come after an 8 mile run! YOU WILL HAVE RESULTS. Well…if you push yourself as hard as you can. Your mind will quit long before your body!
Don’t think working out hard is sexy? THINK AGAIN!  Girl, I want to see you SWEATING and have some FIRE in your eyes. If you are smiling during your run, you need to start running faster!

(Lou: Cute Suit!)

CYCLE, RUN, SWIM, and wait for it…


DANCE!!!

That’s right, DANCING. This shit burns calories like SNOOP burns TREES! Whether you’re on the pole or dancing to soul, this is a great alternative to conventional workouts. Plus it shows dudes how great you are in the sack (guys totally judge women on their dancing skills! KNOWN FACT), and not to mention it’s done best with a drink in hand! (Lou: Count me in)

Also,  YOU CAN DANCE ANYWHERE, FOR FREE! Dance in the right place and you can even make a buck or two. Don’t want to cut a rug in public? Keep your dancing at home! Put on that record you can’t help but move to and go at it for an hour or two. The key is to continue moving. KEEP THE HEART RATE UP. Dance for 2 hours and you will burn around 700 calories or MORE!!! BOOM!

Dancing can also be a great core exercise! But remember you want to get that HEART RATE UP and really push yourself to keep moving at a good pace.
So, whether your running everyday or dancing to your favorite BUSTA RHYME$ album, just remember to go harder and faster than last time.  Doing cardio 1 day a week ain’t gonna do SHIT!!! You need to be doing cardio 5-6 days a week and giving yourself 1-2 days rest.  Also remember to eat well and DRINK LESS! (LOU! This means you) The more you DRINK the more you have to RUN! (Lou: ew)


I prefer CYCLING for my CARDIO.

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