Holy shit. I tried to do some quick shoe shopping at work this morning and ended up writing this blog post instead because it was such a raging weird experience. And yeah, I really should have been paying attention to all the weird shoes out there way before this, but whatever:
Whoa, right? How come I never see these on people? I am sure there are some Portlanders that would totally wear these. Oh wait, because they’re $995.95!! Come on. Just call it $1000. Does the sales tactic of making it .9995 really work or even matter in this instance?
Wait, wait, look at these:
Eee! Ew! Awesome! I don’t know.
Those are the LAASSKA Mt. Goat boots. Of course they are. Price tag: $229.95
I’m pulling all of these from Solestruck.com. They’re tagline is: TO RID THE WORLD OF UGLY SHOES ONE PAIR AT A TIME.
I don’t get it. If anything, this site aims to invite the ugliest shoes to the party where they can all throw down to be the ugliest, weirdest shoes on the planet. And it’s not a bad thing. It’s great. It’s super fun. It’s also why I have such a bastard-ass time trying to find shoes I like and only ever end up wearing Vans. This shit is intimidating to me.
JOHN FLUEVOG – ARCH BOOT (CHEETAH) $419.95
Omg, $400 crazy shoes. They remind me of something any member of KISS would want to wear on like, a normal non-stage day. I applaud the people actually wearing these. I love these people. This is why I love fashion – so I can stare at people that drop money on any of these shoes in an attempt to make it work.
So many of these shoes are of course created by my nemesis Jeffrey Campbell. For fucks sake I swear his goal is to make the ugliest, stupidest shoes ever.
JEFFREY CAMPBELL – KICK IT – $189.95
These look like a monster.
JEFFREY CAMPBELL – VAY CAY – $164.95
JEFFREY CAMPBELL – 4 EVZ – $129.95
Ok, these I kind of liked because they’re covered in ponies. And the name “4 Evz” is so precious. And oh they’re in my price range! But still the image of me teetering around in these is pretty funny. Ridiculous ass shoes.
In all fairness he does make some shoes that aren’t totally cray:
But that is just no fun. This post is not to talk about shoes I might actually buy. Ugh I hate buying shoes. It’s just to tell you to go get on Solestruck.com and look at all the magic that’s there. It really is fun. Gleeful even. I had such a fun time avoiding work this morning. And absolutely no fun continuing to fail miserably at actually finding cute shoes that suit me.