Work, B*tch

My sister is stepping in to do a guest blog. Isn’t it cute how she *’s out the “i” in Bitch in her title? Ha – I think she forgot she was writing for my crass, whiskey-saoked blog. Goes to show that we have pretty different, ok … very different styles. Some of you are a bit more classically stylish like she is though, so I always love when she gets a chance to write.

It’s pretty funny she’s the one that’s blogging and that she’s blogging about work, seeing how I’m currently unemployed and technically should have all day to write, but instead I’m … looking … constantly … for jobs. Or watching The Voice. So you know. 

I hope you enjoy this post by her. Especially if you work in an office environment where business casual (is that what this is?) is the way to go. Me? I only find myself looking for jobs now where I have the freedom to wear whatever I want. I’ve been spoiled and won’t ever back! 

Enjoy! Happy Monday! xoxo, Lou

When I first started my office job in the fanciest building on campus at my alma mater, I was Jazzed about wearing Office Clothes. Visions of me dressed like this were dancing in my head:

jcrew suit

Sometimes, I’m not far off this mark. BUT, suits are crazy expensive, and one can only come up with so many clever combinations of suit-top-heels before one gets a little bored with office attire. After only a short time at my office job, this is how I felt about wearing office clothes:

Photo on 9-16-13 at 9.52 AM #2

As previously mentioned, I work in The Fancy Building on campus. The university president works in this building. There is definitely a dress code. (Side Bar: We have actual Casual Fridays and people really do say “T.G.I.F.!” It can make life feel a lot like a quirky sitcom.)

Needless to say, I’m on the younger end of the employee spectrum, and most people in the building tend to walk the conservative line when it comes to work wear. So I realized I had two choices: Fall into the same habits of my coworkers, and try to blend in, OR, be true to myself and my love of clothes, and have as much fun as possible within the parameters of Looking Professional.

I never thought I’d be a Blazer Girl. But I LOVE My Blazer. Investing in a great Blazer is so worthwhile when you need to wear Work Clothes on the regular. It polishes up any ensemble, for example:

Photo on 4-2-13 at 12.48 PM #2

Without the blazer, that outfit is super casual. It’s a cotton turtleneck, relaxed-fit skirt, and some booties. But add the blazer, and voila! Polish.

Another great work staple is the Pencil Skirt. I commute by bicycle most of the time, so this item is reserved for carpool days. Be Forewarned: pencil skirts have a volatile magic. You will probably not open a single door for yourself all day, but it’s likely because the door-holder is enjoying the view:

photo (9)

It’s easy to fall into Pin Up Girl territory here, so pairing the magic skirt with a simple cotton top and cozy shrug gives it some balance.

Speaking of inappropriate office outfits, I’m pretty sure this dress was way too short for me to wear to work:

Photo on 7-26-13 at 2.03 PM

I wore that white cardigan over it and somehow decided that made it more modest, but looking at this picture I’m kinda surprised I didn’t get sent home to change. Hello, legs!

Which is not to say that dresses in general can’t be Work Appropriate. Do you have a spirit animal? I do, and her name is Taylor Swift. One morning Swifty ran into some Joan from Mad Men inspiration to create the following work outfit:

photo (10)

I really wanted to wear the Ray Bans all day, but they made it hard to see my computer screen.
T-shirts can also make for a good work ensemble, so long as you apply the requisite Polish.

Example One, The Tee / Cardigan Layered Look:

Photo on 3-15-13 at 11.19 AM #3

Photo on 3-8-13 at 9.05 AM

Example Two: The Button Down / Tee / Cardigan Combo:
(I have no clue what I’m doing in this picture, but I like my outfit)

Photo on 11-28-12 at 8.16 AM #2

It’s important for my office steez to be bicycle friendly whenever possible, so I’ve invested in a lot of good Pants over the last year and a half.  The goal is always slim cut, ankle or capri length, for the ease of hopping on the bike to G-O! These wine colored gems are one of my new favorite pairs (shown with a little daytime sparkle!):

Photo on 10-3-13 at 11.04 AM #2

Photo on 10-3-13 at 11.04 AM

I also decided awhile back that toothpick cords are completely work appropriate, and no one has ever contradicted me, so:

Photo on 10-21-13 at 9.22 AM

(you better work, b*tch)

Clearly we must now segue into Sweaters. It’s fall, and I love sweaters. Let’s enjoy this one again:

Photo on 10-21-13 at 9.23 AM

This is what I’m wearing today, and so many people have commented on “the chicken” on my sweater, to which I can only reply, “Chickens don’t wear berets.”

Remember how we have actual Casual Fridays? Well you still don’t want to look like a hot mess, especially when your university prez is on the TLC tip. He don’t want no scrubs.

Casual Friday Example One:

Photo on 8-30-13 at 9.29 AM

Photo on 8-30-13 at 9.31 AM

The shorts were a gamble, but the polish here? Oxfords and a cute, simple sweater. Nautical theme!

Casual Friday Example Two:

Photo on 8-9-13 at 12.26 PM

Jeans and some school-spirit red plaid, with more oxford polish.

See? Dressing for work can be – and should be – fun. Even if your office has Professional Polish Parameters (yay, alliteration!) there are always opportunities to be creative. Find your spirit animal and let her shine! Then, if your sister has a fashion blog, you can take lots of mini work breaks by creating a catalog of outfit selfies which will one day become a What to Wear at the Office post. Cheers, Lou!

Hey – You Want To Win Some MYKITA MYLON Glasses?

When I first met my best friend Jessica (you may also know her as JRa, Jess, JJ, etc), I had no idea that fashion in the optical world was such a ‘thing’. I thought expensive sunglasses were ridiculous and people that wore glasses, well, I just didn’t think much of the fact that they had been needing to pick out an accessory that I myself had been able to ignore my entire life.

380761_609070735878_320585425_n

Me and Jessica – the early days (RIP Murder – my fishy)

After three years of bosom buddiness though, that’s all changed. I’ve helped her a number of times at Optik PDX, the small, beautifully designed, startup shop she helped bring into existence along the hip stretch of Mississippi that also houses Mississippi Studios, Miss Delta, Interurban, etc. etc.

269105_232002853489754_6899368_n

She played a major role in introducing me to my adorable, glasses-wearing boyfriend (who, btw, shelled out for a surprise pair of the most amazing Barton Perriera sunglasses for me about a year ago, which ended up convincing me spendy shades were a worthy investment).

And, she has no problem pointing out the countless, COUNTLESS, number of glasses she herself has designed all around Portland. There is no shortage of people with fashionable eyewear in this town let me tell you. Check out the Optik PDX Facebook page to see some of them!

So yeah. I am surrounded by glasses now. Never saw myself in this situation, but that’s the way the cookie crumbled. And these days I’m up on Mississippi way more than I ever used to be and I’m always stopping in to see her and to say hi to the amazingly genial Dr. Ezra, and oh yeah to help myself to a nice cold Widmer, which they keep fully stocked in the back room for their customers to enjoy while perusing all the fabulous frames.

8488_535641706459199_76014760_n

The Optik team looking all sorts of precious. 

281533_232002796823093_4801033_n

Inside the boutique

This isn’t just your typical adoration post even though I do indeed love her and Optik PDX to death. I actually have something really rad to tell you about! Let me get to the point. Aside from setting people up with all their optical needs, they also throw a killer party.

This Thursday is no exception. Please watch the video below where super smart people make 3D stuff using plastic and lasers. There is this glasses line, MYKITA MYLON, that is made like this.

971240_10200682625202572_1888884914_n

Jess looking hot in the Mylon line

They’re bendy! They’re strong! They come in the most incredible colors and are like, super crazy hip. And this Thursday, Optik PDX is having a trunk show to showcase all the sexy steez. But oh wait there’s more, they’re also having a contest where you could actually win a pair! It’s an Instagram contest obviously, but that just means it’s super easy to enter.

1186000_591273077562728_71221993_n

Hello, beautiful frames

I’ll be posting the Instagram contest rules later today or tomorrow so watch for those. And if you live in Portland, do yourself a favor and head over to Optik PDX  this Thursday, September 12 (TOMRROW!). The party goes from 1:00 – 7:00 pm and will feature a photo booth, free beer, beautiful people, and a whole host of cool glasses to fawn over.

0-Mykita_Mylon_09122013

See you there babies!

xoxo,

Lou

Fashionable Friends: JIMI EDITION!!!

photo-2

THIS PICTURE folks. This picture illustrates why it has taken me so long to write this post about one of my most fashionable female friends… she is way too fun a drinking partner! That bitch. After beginning my informal interview at Valentines downtown, we headed to the Eastside to check out one of her favorites, the legendary Lloyd Allen Sr. (never been? It’s worth your while.) at the Blue Diamond on Sandy Blvd. where the above pictured drinks were consumed and from where I took a Radio Cab to a different bar and then to a loft party and then to my bed where I woke up the next morning realizing I had lost the notebook in which I had recorded what I had remembered to be an EPIC conversation.

However, never fear. The notebook was found, waiting patiently for me in the loft where I had left it. Right under this ass poster at the Pizza Friday offices (check them out):

IMG_5544

God damn miracle. Therefore we are now finally able to proceed and I can gush with proper notation over one of my most fashionable, talented, and fucking awesome friends here in Portland, Miss Jimi Pop. About fucking time, I know.

To really get at the heart of it … one of the things I love most about Jimi is that she is so, so, so fucking cool, like, painfully cool, and yet still, one of the sweetest, most unassuming friends I have. Unlike me, her cool quotient is off the charts, but even though I don’t front a seriously kick ass local Portland band, or have an effortless sense of style that translates into second-hand retail sales, or make and successfully sell my own jewelry line, or have epic hair … ok wait, I do have epic hair, but even though I am lacking in all those other areas that would earn me textbook cool points, Jimi never makes me feel like anything less than her equal. If you live in a place like Portland, where “cool” reigns supreme, I’m sure you understand how rare and endearing a characteristic this is in a person of her caliber.

Ok, so meet Jimi:

532164_10201162449893179_1123934967_n

Ugh I know. I’ve written about her before a few times on this blog. Like, there was that one time I wrote about her because even though I’ve gotten really used to her being a blonde, she used to have babe-tastic raven black locks:

400972_10102293355828424_1643816960_n

Yeah, sorry, she’s totally taken too. By that handsome boy rocking some serious liner on the left, who acts as 1/6 of their band, Thanks. This is a primarily a fashion blog, but what fits better with fashion than rock n’ roll? Correct answer: not much.

The reviews are in … from me, Willamette Week, and the Portland Mercury … Thanks churns out some seriously growly, sexy, soulful music. They’ll soon be recording a full length album, but in the meantime, their EP, Silver Scars Will Be Our Constellations, is available on iTunes for less than $6. So, I mean, I’d check it out if I were you. They also play around Portland pretty frequently and put on a killer live show, so if you’re in the area, follow them on Facebook for upcoming events. Totally worth your while. They’re mega talented and also ALL SO ATTRACTIVE. It’s dumb.

394891_593389040676837_1324658813_n

According to Jimi (omg I’m pulling notes from my once lost notebook! so exciting), she was always obsessed with R&B music – I have Mariah Carey and Boy II Men scrawled down so let’s go with that – and always wanted to be the girl doing runs in the background of said R&B.

And then … well then … I can’t really tell what happens! See for yourself …

photo

I mean, write your own story here people, and I’ll skip to the point in my notes where it clearly says she has a moment of revelation, exclaiming: “I was sitting in my car and I was like ‘Fuck that! I can sing!”

She goes on to tell me that not only did she realize she had a set of pipes, but she could also write. And since you’ve already gone and listened to the Thanks EP, you know how right she was about that.

Beyond Jimi’s talent, can I also point out the notable camaraderie inherent in this band? It’s tempting to assign Jimi a Gwen Stefani, front-woman stigma, however in this band, it’s anything but. They really actually truly all love each other and pull their weight and when they’re up there on stage your eye is equally drawn to all of them at any given moment. Someday I’ll write fashion profiles on each of them, but for now, let’s get back to Jimi and her fashion steez.

It’s enviable. Mostly because it seems so effortless. Bitch. Some people just got “It”, right?

You want any of these items? Cause they’re totally waiting for you to buy them from her leased space down at Red Fox Vintage’s newest location on Woodstock.

221612_10201768576725971_183971109_n

Guess ankle booties/banana republic oatmeal sweater/dooney & bourke bucket backpack/vintage Abercrombie boyfriend jeans!!!
64121_10201771969330784_2020185505_n
“Uhhhmazing vintage Wilson’s leather front zipper pencil skirt/lady sized authentic fatigues. I might not be able to sell these… Space 36! Red Fox on Woodstock.” – Jimi
1013153_10201768577645994_1434916706_n
Otello Pele thigh length leather vest/Mexico muscle crop tank/classic flannel
She excitedly mentioned to me over happy hour the other day that in her first week leasing this space, she had sold enough to cover her share of the rent AND make a profit. This obviously has something to do with the fact that, as she explains to me, she was born under a “Thrifting Star”. She’s always getting lucky and finding awesome goods. Clearly.
She also has a system she follows when searching for the racks at everyone’s go-to spot Goodwill (or as Jimi calls it, the Mothership): “I start in the shoes, then I move on to the bags, then the dresses, and then I’m warmed up enough to fuck with the shirts and stuff.” But she doesn’t do pants because … wait, I can tell you why, because trying on pants sucks. I mean you actually have to try them on most of the time and screw that. I fucking hate trying on pants, which is why I keep going back to buy the same pair in different colors and variations from Urban Outfitter. I don’t really know if that’s why she doesn’t thrift the slacks section, but it’s universally true enough that I’m going with it.

Oh and guess what, I’ve tried Jimi’s “system” and I am not born under a thrifting star. I know. It’s totally shocking. I never find shit. And I get impatient right around the “bags” part, which is why I collect books instead of clothes. Luckily, now that she has her own leased space, I can just go buy the stuff she picks out. Beats Internet window shopping, which is ALL I do these days. Then I decide to think about a purchase over drinks and next thing you know all the money set aside for clothes is spent on whiskey shots and tacos or something and … this is why I only write about other people’s fashion. Moving along …
The day we met for our interview she had just found these gems at Little Edie’s Five and Dime on N. Williams. Pretty perfect condition of course.
IMG_5510
And she had tie-dyed her own shirt.
IMG_5502
Oh and that jewelry? She made that. Her very own Old Tiger and Peach line. The name is a Charles Bukowski reference, so you know, that’s also hot.
I will take a crystal pendant please and I’ve always been a sucker for the geometric drop necklace too.
il_570xN.448030570_cflu
il_570xN.448026930_2c22
All her jewelry is available on her Etsy site HERE and also at Rad Summer  on Burnside if you’re a local.
So – as you can see – Jimi does a lot of cool shit. And has great style. And is a great drinking partner. And is a totally rad girl. It was a no-brainer profile. I’m thankful she’s in Portland and not tromping around being ultra cool in New York or something.
I’m also thankful for Thanks. I’m excited to see where their future takes them – and I think it will be somewhere wonderful and exotic – so best see them now while you can still get all close and personal up in their shit.
And I think because she’s so nice to look at we’ll just end with some pretty photos! K? K. xoxo, Lou
Modeling for Sturnelle Collection – Photo by Em Bolles (you’ve read about her, right?)
321073_10200467109030092_1925874330_n
Dressed as Prince … I know, right?
316395_2569733812470_1349514934_n
And finally being very Portland and very pretty with my FAVORITE GIRL NIKKI! Hi Nikki! We miss you.
420644_3247035144580_347102044_n
 
 

Clothes for Creeps Part II

I just want to bitch about how these amazing leggings are SOLD OUT on gritnglory.com.

BOO! Get it? Cause … yeah. These better be back in stock soon so I can blow $50 on them.

graveleg_large

 

xoxo, Lou

Nail Steez

I’ve always talked about giving my Master’s Degree the middle finger and going back to school for a third time to become a nail tech. In today’s fashion world, that isn’t all that crazy since some jerks are making bank (I’m assuming this) doing crazy ass nail art for celebrities and fashion shows and shit.

Nail art is all over IG …

IMG_4090

IMG_9437

IMG_5130

And my personal have: Nail Swag

photo-1 photo

You don’t have to do totally crazy shit though for your nails to look steezy. And with shellac options now, it’s so much more practical to spend money and time to get elaborate and have fun. My friend Jessica is notorious for her nail steez.

IMG_2294

IMG_7484

IMG_8899

IMG_7552

IMG_5967

IMG_4496

Friendship nails – cute!!!

IMG_4800

IMG_1375

I took this picture on Kentucky Derby day. No big deal.

I myself have a hard time committing to polish that lasts two weeks. I’ve had shellac maybe 4 times, which is why I want to give a shout to my girls who keep me so entertained manicure after manicure. It’s rare to see them with a naked nail. And to all those crazy ass nail art people out there making a name for themselves.

I’m also really hungover so if this post makes no sense I apologize. Just look at the pictures.

xoxo, Lou

Goodwill Hunting

Is that the name of that movie?

Even if it’s not, it’s what I’ve been unintentionally doing. And lo and behold, unintentionally succeeding at! (In my personal opinion of course.) Except ultimately it’s done a great thing in that it’s taught me that you don’t have to be a killer fashionista to find shit at Goodwill that is just as cool as shit you would find online or at some mall. In fact there’s way less pressure because you’re spending $10 on cashmere instead of $11o.

This is important for me because, being as saddled with student loan debt as I am, spending money has always been a major commitment for me. I’ve never been a frivolous shopper for the mere fact that I literally wasn’t able to be a frivolous shopper. Unless, it turns out,  I get a decent raise and I’m at Goodwill and I’m buying stuff that doesn’t matter for the same reason that it costs the same amount of money at Goodwill as it does if I were spending it at some burrito cart the second I find myself stuck at work on a Thursday morning with a massive hangover.

Ok so let’s see.

I got a sweater I really love and that I actually think I will wear. I’ve always, ok for like 4 months I’ve struggled with that fashion “nail in the coffin” where I want to wear shit that doesn’t actually suit me. You know? I really am happiest in jeans, t-shirts, hoodies, and simple stuff like that. I suppose the key is focusing in on how to maximize that.

photo-3

This sweater  seems like something I’d wear all the time. Awesome. It’s 100% cashmere and blue and has awesome buttons and was made in Scotland and I’m pretty sure I think it’s awesome, which is bound to translate well. Oh, and it cost me $10.

photo-6

The print on this sweater is made of bunnies. It’s pretty cute. And always makes me pretty happy when I look at it in the middle of the day. AND it’s good for work, so sometimes that’s great as well. Oh and it was $6.

photo-7

Ok. I had this backpack I really loved that I got off the free table at my last apartment. I didn’t even want a backpack. I just found one and I thought it was great so I started using it all the time. Then, when the strap on that one broke, I felt sort of lost.

photo-10

This was that backpack.

Then, when my bf needed a backpack … this is a long story. Fact is … I found this cute purse for $6 at Goodwill the other day and it was awesome because … it was comfortable and cute. Just like my cat …

photo-8

That’s a $10 100% cashmere crop-top I found at Goodwill. 100% cashmere cropped tops kind of confuse me, but I do think they’re cute and I will, I believe, find the perfect evening to wear this.

photo-9

And more purse.

photo

Let’s see. I also found this mug for $2. I certainly didn’t need a new mug, but … come on.

photo-4

And oh shit. Speaking of tumble-upons. I decided for $5 to read Rob Lowe’s autobiography.

photo-2

And there. I guess I’ve gone and successfully summed up a trip to Goodwill with me. All for like … $39.

xoxo, Lou

Fashionably Late

See what I did there? So, a couple of Saturdays back, maybe a few at this point since I’ve been hardcore sick and hardcore procrastinating, I spent the day with my lovely friend, Miss Emily Bolles. She recently started an Etsy endeavor (now on virb.com) to house and sell her own personal picks for best vintage pieces around Portland.

It was a no brainer to help her model some of these timeless pieces, which you can find for sale on her website at: http://sturnellecollection.virb.com/

Here’s a little preview of me showing you what you can buy there.

Pretty obsessed with this amazing crop top:

Vintage 100% cotton cream colored crop tank $32

il_570xN.436492451_n5th

il_570xN.436492589_5q0r

Also awesome: Women’s vintage pastel blue lambswool/angora rabbit hair sweater by Marnie West $52

Did I mention it’s lambswool/angora rabbit hair? So soft, such a pretty blue. Wear this one on a date to the shake shack.
il_570xN.436514040_ornc

il_570xN.436525565_d45y

To the point: Women’s vintage Hathaway blue and white vertical striped long-sleeved button-up collard shirt $38

il_570xN.436566544_26hm

And so on and so forth. But before I show you more of her aesthetic, I wanted to talk about the woman behind the scenes – buyer, photographer, …awesome, awesome drinking buddy.

When I met Em Bolles she had a job seating the visitor elite at Portland’s trendy Clyde Common by night and was a babe-a-licious substitute teacher by day – something she still does in between gigs at another new Portland hotspot, Tasty and Alder, and between her time slangin vintage goods for Sturnelle Collection.

The name Sturnelle comes from the latin “Sturnelle Neglecta” meaning Western Meadowlark aka Portland’s state bird. But don’t you dare get all put a bird on this midwestern girl. She’s from Wisconsin (Midwest represent) and has had a love of birds since she was a little girl. So there.

The name perfectly embodies a personal flare and the state she now calls home. It’s also the place she finds the clothing to stock the virtual shelves of Sturnelle Collection.

Palace on SE 34th, Rock n’ Rose on E. Burnside, Magpie on SW 9th, and Good ol’ Goodwill, rank as some of her favorite places to find quality vintage goods that she’s able to repurpose, alongside modern day fashion picks, into relevant looks that, as she says, “won’t cost you a shit ton”.

il_570xN.413907565_fnto

Vintage Red Eugene Rodier stretch pencil skirt $40 

Two months after leaving her job at Clyde Common, Emily realized she had more time to devote to creative pursuits such as fashion and photography.

“I got into vintage clothing because of the history, because of the place it takes you when you look at it. Sometimes this can be hard to incorporate into a modern day wardrobe so for me it was a question of, how do I appreciate these clothes? How do I fit this history into now?”

She also admits that the photography involved in showcasing the clothes was a large part of her decision to pursue an online shop.

“Learning to take photos of people – that’s a huge part of it. How do I turn the clothes into a story that the pictures tell?”

What’s not a huge part of it?

“The shopping!” She laughs. “The shopping is probably my least favorite part of it even though I do think I’m good at picking things out.”

il_570xN.430576545_t0ky

Vintage Pendleton dark blue and grey pinstripe high-waisted 100% wool pencil skirt $50 

il_570xN.425625237_8y65

Vintage silk dark brown pure silk button-up long-sleeved blouse $38

I asked her to give me three words to describe Sturnelle Collection. Her hesitation proved demure as she launched into a confident list:

“Classic, Quality, and Fresh.”

Looking at her collection, these adjectives certainly do seem to lend an ongoing theme only bolstered by her residence in Portland. Not only does she have access to incredible vintage clothing stores, she also has connections that sometimes lend themselves to amazing photography locations, like The Cleaners event space at the Ace Hotel , where we had our photo shoot on an unnaturally nice, summer-like day in the midst of Portland winter.

IMG_4941

The Cleaners

IMG_4951

Let there be light!

IMG_4948

Buying her model lunch xoxo

Working with her on a professional level is easy and fun. She’s low stress about her shoots and really seems to work with what she’s got at any given moment. The day consisted of lunch from Clyde Common (which also occupies space next to the Ace Hotel), Stumptown coffee galore (um yep, also right there … this is a really hip block), and plenty of loud ass hip hop to keep us motivated.

At one point, she dragged me to try some shots outside, and yeah, I said it was unusually warm, but it wasn’t that warm and she had no qualms about asking me to double bra and tape my nipples, which yeah I did … all for this top:

il_570xN.436506859_6hng

Women’s vintage navy blue sleeveless flawy top $28 This top was comfortable as fuck.

Which can I just say was totally worth it because look at that wall. It was perfect! Perfectly urban too as I was surrounded by like, bum pee and old Wendy’s bags, but that’s what made the day so extra fun. The girl has a knack for finding spots and an adventurous side that leads her to them.

I don’t get the sense Emily is in any hurry to abandon all her days  jobs to focus on Sturnelle, but watching her work, I don’t get the sense she needs to. She has an ease about her business sense that allows her to indulge in the creative pursuit while still holding down jobs that pay the bills … a skill many young people today strive for. And with clothes as cute as hers, she doesn’t need much more than that.

Oh … and did I mention she provides stuff for the menfolks as well?

il_570xN.423603528_edls

Men’s vintage Arrow Bradstreet vertical white and blue striped button-up collared dress shirt $40

At this point, I think we should enjoy a few more photos before I tell you where you can stalk this babe on all the social media sites.

IMG_4962

Remember my jewelry post? And remember when I mentioned Emily has connections? Well check out her custom BLTN necklace and try not to hate her too much for owning such a gorgeous gem.

IMG_4946

IMG_4964

IMG_4952

Ew – she encouraged me to try fried oysters. I didn’t die. Or barf. In fact it was quite good.

Ok – so do you want to know where to stalk her now???

Here’s where you can buy her steez: http://sturnellecollection.virb.com/

Here’s where you can go “Like”  her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SturnelleCollection?fref=ts

Instagram, of course: @sturnellecollection

And here is where you can look at her fashion porn: http://sturnellecollection.tumblr.com/

My next Portland fashion showcase is the really really beautiful babe that has done most of my tattoos, Olivia Britz. Did I mention she’s a babe? See ya next time for that and until then – go stalk Sturnelle.

IMG_4966

xoxo, Lou

Sick Fashion

No really though, I caught the plague, which is why I have been completely slacking on getting up some new posts. For days I have felt like this …

url

Steven Meisel for Vogue

You’d think being sick on the couch would make for the perfect blogging conditions, but my brain wouldn’t even allow me to form a proper sentence, so I decided to put it off. Even though my head is pounding and I’m still a snot monster, I’m feeling a bit more chipper today, so planning to head home and get back on the blogging wagon. Must have been the whiskey and Jameson I had for St. Patrick’s day yesterday that cured me.

And I even got to wear a green top that my mom made as a wee 20-something lass, so not a total fashion fail weekend:

72429_668231227778_186114899_n[1]

Ok so that’s that. No more sick girl.

sick

You can buy the white snapback if you really want it … but I’m jonesing for that gold chain myself.

See ya again later tonight,

xoxo, Lou

Farewell Upper East Side, I Hardly Knew Ya…

Ok, I didn’t know you at all. Who am I kidding? This blog is called CHEAP wine and panty lines, not super expensive…champagne. Or whatever it is rich people drink. 

So, Gossip Girl just ended and my sister asked if we could do a fashion retrospective, and c’mon, obviously. The show might be total fluff, but what’s better than looking at and judging the stupidly expensive clothes they use to dress that fluff up. 

I already wrote the intro to this article here, and if I wait a second longer to post her contribution, my sister might actually murder me. She had a lot to say (haha) about her Gossip Girl fashion crush, prepster Blair, so…without further adieu, here it is! Enjoy! And while you’re reading this, I’ll start in on my very own retrospective for that uber babe ne’re do well, Serena. 

… … …

Ah, Gossip Girl. After six seasons of delightful braincations, it’s bittersweet to see you go. What began as a witty, simple indulgence has spiraled over the past six years into a bevy of some of the soapiest absurdities ever seen on prime time television. How we will miss your convoluted plots involving endless scheming, drug overdoses, embezzlement, unplanned pregnancy, royal weddings, incarcerated innocents, false identities, comas, and of course, a faked death.

In spite of the ridiculousness of most GG “plotlines,” one tried and true element of the show has kept us tuned in every year – The Fashion. Gossip Girl is basically fashion porn, with its frequently spectacular (and occasionally hideous) sartorial adventures.

My favorite has always been Blair Waldorf, the Audrey-obsessed preppy gamine with doe eyes and a perfect pair of lips.

Season One – The Ultimate Prep School Girl

In season one we meet Blair – and her headbands – for the first time. She shows us the perfect blend of prep and flair, always accompanied by a perfect hair accessory.

blairwaldorf5

blair-waldorf-2

blair_waldorf_christmas

Love, love, love. (Lou – I’d totes wear that first outfit and wish my makeup face looked like that every day)

No clue what that crazy bow-tie thing is in the third shot, but it doesn’t matter because she pulls it off. Like those white tights (an accessory seen almost as often as her headbands); who wears white tights over the age of six without looking like a moron? Blair Waldorf, that’s who. She pulled almost everything off in season one, except this:

ughflowerdress_collage

I disagree, internet collage-maker. I hate everything about this look. Except maybe the shoes, but it’s hard to focus on them in the face of that pink bouquet vomit bubble halter dress monstrosity. (Lou – yeah. Agreed. I could write a hate parade about bubble dresses with a special section devoted to pink bubble dresses.)


Season Two – Senior Year  

Blair is still in high school, but we’re supposed to believe she’s Becoming A Woman, so more grown-up outfits accompany her headbands and we start seeing her out of uniform more often.

Summering in the Hamptons, naturally.

season2hamptonschuck

season2hamptonsdress

season2hamtonspool

Ps. Chuck Bass. That is all.

Season two also proffered one of my Favorite Dresses Ever (including A better view, on a model):

mydresscollage

mydressonmodel

LOVE this dress. Want this dress. UGH. This Effing Dress! (Lou – Um, I can’t wait to write about how LAME this dress would be in Serena’s book because there is nowhere to display BOOBS! But it is a really pretty color.)

The Internets tell me it is: Blair Waldorf’s green backless Alexandra Avidal Thanksgiving dress from Gossip Girl 2.10 “The Magnificent Archibalds.” In case anyone wants to hunt it down and buy it for me. Or make me one, if you’re crazy impressive with a sewing machine.

Seasons Three and Four – Grown Ups?

This is what happens when you have a successful teen show and your teens enter “adulthood.” Or at least college. Their teen lives become more and more contrived as their forced into the “real world.” Lucky for us their clothes also grew up, and became more magnificent. This is exactly the cape I would want to be wearing if my smoking-jacket-clad billionaire boyfriend was trying to apologize to me with yet another bouquet of perfect peonies. And I would take any excuse to don that perfect pink confection of a dress. Society ball, night at the opera, grocery shopping…

  ChuckBlairPeonies      

Bpinkgown 

(Lou – that cape does really, really weird things to her arms. And pea green is kinda gross. But in general I love the idea of capes.)

Ever wonder what to wear to the Musée d’Orsay when contriving your own Cinderella moment as you bid farewell to your suitor the Prince of Monaco? Look no further, these polka dots are just the ticket:

Double Identity

Not sure what season Blue Dress is from, but I love it and it deserves some commemorating. Clearly I am a sucker for backless dresses. S looks pretty great here, too.

BlairSerena

Seasons Five and Six – The Denouement

And so we are at an end… Things have gone completely catawampus in the last couple seasons of GG, but the fashion still reigns supreme. B traded her headbands for hats, and the result was delightful. Note: In season five, for whatever reason, someone decided B’s hair had to look kind of awful all the time. The hats definitely helped.

blair-dan

On a non-fashion aside, I kinda liked B and Humphrey together. While Chuck was obviously B’s penguin, she and Lonely Boy still made sense. And back to B’s fashion, how much to I want those effing shoes???

We also have B’s wedding dress this season (because she’s what, 20 now? totally sensible age to wed) and in her (of course) Vera Wang she did not disappoint. Even though her hair is… sigh. Oh what’s that? She looks Distressed, you say? This is GG people. No such thing as a wedding without some Major Drama.

blair-waldorf-wedding-gown1

blairweddinggown2

This look is perfection. I just want more reasons to wear Gowns. Or maybe just more gowns to wear anywhere I please.

blairperfectblackgown

With the final season, B brings it all back! Headbands! Hats! Polka dots! Gowns! Headbands with gowns! And there may even be another wedding dress in her future…

blair-headband-season6

blairHatseason-6

blair-polka-dots-season6

blairgown-headband-season6

OMG is this B’s wedding dress??? Is she marrying Chuck and super grumpy about it??? It’s probably just a ruse… right? Only time and the CW will tell…

BweddingSeason6

Ps. Lou and I now know the answer to this question, but in case you haven’t had a chance to watch the most ridiculous series finale of all time, we will avoid spoilers. xoxo

Thanks for all of the enviable ensembles, B. You and your dream wardrobe will be missed.

(Thanks sis! Looking at Blair’s preppy fashion wonderland got me all excited to write about naughty Serena’s T & A baring ensembles. …Also pending, a hilarious glimpse into the neon-loving lifestyle of gallery-owning babe extraordinaire, Paige. Until then… xoxo Lou)

Like CWPL on Facebook!

In case you didn’t know, CWPL has a Facebook page!

Go “like” the CheapWineandPantyLines page to stay current on all new posts and site updates, gossip news, fashion fun, etc etc.

https://www.facebook.com/xoxolou

You’ll also get to see things like me wearing my MapleXO hoops:

Or follow me on Instagram: PortlandLou

Where you can see things like my Buffalo Exchange Motorhead find:

Currently working on a Cheap Wine and Panty Lines 2.0 where you will be able to find my articles in a more professional format with no swearing, a little less booze talk, and major publishing potential.

This concludes my Sunday Social Media overload plug.

xoxo, Lou