Breaking the Beauty Rules

My lady Crystal is at it again. Remember when she wrote about Miley’s short new ‘do? Well this time she’s back to talk to you about breaking the rules and dressing for your body type, dressing to feel good, and being an all around sexy badass. So proud of you, Chinga!
I’m up next with another profile on Miss Paige, her love for all things neon, and what it’s like to be an art gallery owning babe. Until then! xoxo, Lou 
I’m fat, in a general sense of the word. Average (or slightly below) according to the CDC’s body measurement data for the US. Huge, probably, to a model or midget. And thin, skinny or teeny-tiny to someone who knew me a year and a half ago.
I met Miss Cheap Wine and Pantylines herself two summers ago on a kickball league. I was a few months into a new lifestyle change where I was trying to take back a body that I never felt I had control over. That summer, I was about 25lbs into my journey and I am now about 50lb more. Loosing close to 75lbs put me in a body I had no idea how to dress. And over wine one afternoon, I was asked to write a post about Dressing For Your Body.
There are a lot of fashion faux pas that are bad across the board for a size 2 or a 22, but it’s all about testing what looks good on your body. For me, it meant trying EVERYTHING on, even when I assumed it would fit (cause it was my “size”) or when I thought it would look terrible (skin tight neon jeans). So here are a few “rules” I felt like breaking to prove my point.
Don’t wear bright colors or things that are tight…
 blue.jpg blue
Fuck that noise!! And here is where Lucy and I may disagree, but I am into the bright color trend. Maybe not neon specifically, but bold is good as long as it’s paired with a neutral. Maybe even more specifically, with white or black. I read and heard SO MUCH shit when leggings and skinny jeans became a trend about how plus size chicks shouldn’t wear them. (Made me nostalgic for the “Spandex is a privilege, not a right” era.) Personally, I think skinny jeans look BETTER on a more curvy frame, but maybe that’s just me…
Think of it the same way you do when you wear makeup. If you are going to do a heavy smokey eye, nude lip is the way to go. Simple earth tone eyes? Rock that red pout. If I am going to wear something tight on my lower half, the top is gonna be flowy. If I have a tight or even low cut top, the my lower half is gonna be in something relaxed. It’s about balance mother fuckers.
Don’t wear prints! White makes you look larger!
lean.jpg lean
Listen, people know what size you are. Spanx may smooth you out, but they’re not turning a size 14 into a size 4. Wear clothes that fit, plain and simple. If you wear clothes that don’t fit (too big OR too small), you’ll make yourself look at least 10-20lbs heavier. (Lady Gaga weight gain “scandal”? If she wasn’t a performer dancing around in tiny pieces of leather, there would be no scandal as no one would have noticed.) Here’s a good example and not one randomly found online. This is my friend Rachel, who showed up my door in the outfit on the left and I sent her on her way in the outfit on the right.


Dark colors are slimming, but don’t steer clear of an outfit because it’s white. White is clean and classic and if you can keep yourself dirt free, then you have my permission to rock that shit. Prints can be a sticky situation because plus size clothing more often than not looks tacky and garish and the prints look lifted either from the 80’s or from a small child. Keep it simple. Polka-dots are a small obsession of mine and classic prints like Houndstooth or even Gingham will always be in style.




Don’t wear X (insert revealing clothing here):

I have really long torso and hold my weight in my midsection so crop-tops are not a look that I am comfortable with. That does not however, mean they are out for all plus size ladies. (Or that they are in for any smaller ladies for that matter). Check out this chick rockin’ a crop-top like a Queen! Holla!


If you’ve got it, flaunt it. Even if “it” isn’t necessarily in fashion. Got an awesome rack? Show it off! Working hard on those lat muscles? Rock an open backed number. I have awesome legs if I do say so myself, so the shorter the shorts and dresses, the better!


Don’t pay attention to the label as sizes haven’t been standardized since the 1950’s. That old saying that “Marilyn Monroe was a size 12”? I don’t know many women (size 12 or otherwise) who have a 22 inch waist. Which would make Ms. Monroe a 00 or XXS in today’s world. (Check out this handy dandy chart to see how much sizes vary from brand to  brand: Size ain’t nothin’ but a number, similar to weight on a scale. What size clothing would someone who is 150lbs wear? Well, depending on the body, could be a 6 could be a 10 or maybe even a 12.

Any guesses as to how much I weigh? A bag of coffee to the closest guess 😉 [girl works at Stumptown, ya’ll]




Moral of the story is dress your body in what fits, period. Clothes that fit correctly will always be flattering, weather or not it’s trendy or in style.  ❤