Work, B*tch

My sister is stepping in to do a guest blog. Isn’t it cute how she *’s out the “i” in Bitch in her title? Ha – I think she forgot she was writing for my crass, whiskey-saoked blog. Goes to show that we have pretty different, ok … very different styles. Some of you are a bit more classically stylish like she is though, so I always love when she gets a chance to write.

It’s pretty funny she’s the one that’s blogging and that she’s blogging about work, seeing how I’m currently unemployed and technically should have all day to write, but instead I’m … looking … constantly … for jobs. Or watching The Voice. So you know. 

I hope you enjoy this post by her. Especially if you work in an office environment where business casual (is that what this is?) is the way to go. Me? I only find myself looking for jobs now where I have the freedom to wear whatever I want. I’ve been spoiled and won’t ever back! 

Enjoy! Happy Monday! xoxo, Lou

When I first started my office job in the fanciest building on campus at my alma mater, I was Jazzed about wearing Office Clothes. Visions of me dressed like this were dancing in my head:

jcrew suit

Sometimes, I’m not far off this mark. BUT, suits are crazy expensive, and one can only come up with so many clever combinations of suit-top-heels before one gets a little bored with office attire. After only a short time at my office job, this is how I felt about wearing office clothes:

Photo on 9-16-13 at 9.52 AM #2

As previously mentioned, I work in The Fancy Building on campus. The university president works in this building. There is definitely a dress code. (Side Bar: We have actual Casual Fridays and people really do say “T.G.I.F.!” It can make life feel a lot like a quirky sitcom.)

Needless to say, I’m on the younger end of the employee spectrum, and most people in the building tend to walk the conservative line when it comes to work wear. So I realized I had two choices: Fall into the same habits of my coworkers, and try to blend in, OR, be true to myself and my love of clothes, and have as much fun as possible within the parameters of Looking Professional.

I never thought I’d be a Blazer Girl. But I LOVE My Blazer. Investing in a great Blazer is so worthwhile when you need to wear Work Clothes on the regular. It polishes up any ensemble, for example:

Photo on 4-2-13 at 12.48 PM #2

Without the blazer, that outfit is super casual. It’s a cotton turtleneck, relaxed-fit skirt, and some booties. But add the blazer, and voila! Polish.

Another great work staple is the Pencil Skirt. I commute by bicycle most of the time, so this item is reserved for carpool days. Be Forewarned: pencil skirts have a volatile magic. You will probably not open a single door for yourself all day, but it’s likely because the door-holder is enjoying the view:

photo (9)

It’s easy to fall into Pin Up Girl territory here, so pairing the magic skirt with a simple cotton top and cozy shrug gives it some balance.

Speaking of inappropriate office outfits, I’m pretty sure this dress was way too short for me to wear to work:

Photo on 7-26-13 at 2.03 PM

I wore that white cardigan over it and somehow decided that made it more modest, but looking at this picture I’m kinda surprised I didn’t get sent home to change. Hello, legs!

Which is not to say that dresses in general can’t be Work Appropriate. Do you have a spirit animal? I do, and her name is Taylor Swift. One morning Swifty ran into some Joan from Mad Men inspiration to create the following work outfit:

photo (10)

I really wanted to wear the Ray Bans all day, but they made it hard to see my computer screen.
T-shirts can also make for a good work ensemble, so long as you apply the requisite Polish.

Example One, The Tee / Cardigan Layered Look:

Photo on 3-15-13 at 11.19 AM #3

Photo on 3-8-13 at 9.05 AM

Example Two: The Button Down / Tee / Cardigan Combo:
(I have no clue what I’m doing in this picture, but I like my outfit)

Photo on 11-28-12 at 8.16 AM #2

It’s important for my office steez to be bicycle friendly whenever possible, so I’ve invested in a lot of good Pants over the last year and a half.  The goal is always slim cut, ankle or capri length, for the ease of hopping on the bike to G-O! These wine colored gems are one of my new favorite pairs (shown with a little daytime sparkle!):

Photo on 10-3-13 at 11.04 AM #2

Photo on 10-3-13 at 11.04 AM

I also decided awhile back that toothpick cords are completely work appropriate, and no one has ever contradicted me, so:

Photo on 10-21-13 at 9.22 AM

(you better work, b*tch)

Clearly we must now segue into Sweaters. It’s fall, and I love sweaters. Let’s enjoy this one again:

Photo on 10-21-13 at 9.23 AM

This is what I’m wearing today, and so many people have commented on “the chicken” on my sweater, to which I can only reply, “Chickens don’t wear berets.”

Remember how we have actual Casual Fridays? Well you still don’t want to look like a hot mess, especially when your university prez is on the TLC tip. He don’t want no scrubs.

Casual Friday Example One:

Photo on 8-30-13 at 9.29 AM

Photo on 8-30-13 at 9.31 AM

The shorts were a gamble, but the polish here? Oxfords and a cute, simple sweater. Nautical theme!

Casual Friday Example Two:

Photo on 8-9-13 at 12.26 PM

Jeans and some school-spirit red plaid, with more oxford polish.

See? Dressing for work can be – and should be – fun. Even if your office has Professional Polish Parameters (yay, alliteration!) there are always opportunities to be creative. Find your spirit animal and let her shine! Then, if your sister has a fashion blog, you can take lots of mini work breaks by creating a catalog of outfit selfies which will one day become a What to Wear at the Office post. Cheers, Lou!

Derby Day Steez

While talking to my friend Lauren last week, I got pretty dang excited about the Kentucky Derby, which was this last Saturday. When I was little, my dad would often take me to the racetrack to see the horses. He’d also let me place bets and I was enamored with the Derby Day fashion I’d see on television every year. That shit is bananas.

Luckily my fella was equally pumped and we put it on our mental calendar to be up, shopping at Goodwill, dressed and downtown, by 11 on Saturday to start drinking our Mint Juleps.

Instead we woke up at 12:30 and hastily threw our outfits together complete with a pre-race shot of whiskey. Here’s what we came up with:

Image

Not totally bad, right? Any hat is better than no hat if you ask me, but yeah, I think we imagined looking a little more like this:

Image

But instead of the millionaire racehorse owner and his sexy date we wanted to be (or the pimp ass mother fuckers above), we came out looking like the millionaire’s slutty hipster daughter and the stable boy she’s boning.

He obviously did not wear that hat all day, but my steez was appropriate for the house party we went to next, and then the bar, etc, etc. Amirite?:

Image

Let’s see, I have on some lingerie, a hat that I am pretty sure is from urban, my booties, some ancient ass skirt I found in the back of my closet, and a thrift store purse I found in Albuquerque. It also sort of looks like I’m farting in this photo…but let’s focus on the men at the party instead, shall we?

I thought they all looked so nice!

Image

I’m pretty sure I was wasted at this point and started giving out my “Fashion Award”, which was just me proclaiming through a bunch of slurs, “I think you’re the best dressed boy/girl here you sexymotherfucker!” Obviously I gave that to Tony in the middle there. And notice, not a one of those boys are wearing flip flops, for which I would have kicked their asses out of my fashion photo.

Also, I noticed this:

Image It was Cinco de Mayo, but she said fuck it! And went American all the way! Obviously not on purpose, or I would have kicked her ass out of my photo as well. Hi JJ!

Next year, me and my guy decided to ACTUALLY do it up nice. I think we’re aiming for some old school classy shit this time, a la:

Image

But if there’s whiskey involved, as there usually is, I make no promises.