My homegirl Crystal hit me up today because she was SO excited about how sexy Miss Miley Cyrus is looking with her new short locks (have you seen yet??). She asked if she could write a guest blog about it. I said duh. Here is what she wants you all to know about being a badass and being a babe, all with no hair to hide behind. Enjoy!
Celebrities have been making headlines with short hair since Mia Farrow got a pixie from Vidal Sassoon for Rosemary’s Baby.
A couple days ago Miley Cyrus chopped off her topknot and the internet is now a buzz with criticism. It’s your typical Mean Girls insult factory mostly revolving around two slams: 1) that she looks like a man or 2) that she looks like a lesbian. Damn, that’s cold brah.
And I get it. I have more than a few male and female friends who think short hair isn’t feminine or pretty. Oh course, looking around at most media depictions of women, shoulder length or longer is pretty much standard. A quick Google image search of “Maxium Covers” shows exactly one photo of a girl with a chin length bob. Nothing shorter. Glamour magazine doesn’t fair much better with three covers, one being Rihanna and the other two being choppy midlengths, but no pixies. Obviously women with short hair are not pretty enough to be on the cover of a magazine. (snark, eyeroll, snark)
Here’s the thing. Having short hair means you can’t hide. Your face, neck, shoulders are all out there for the world to see. Short hair in my mind is associated with being kickass, punk rock, take no prisoners. Maybe I was too into Tank Girl when I was a teenager.
The short haired celebrities that I can think of are, for the most part, not models and certainly not what I see represented in mainstream media. (See: P!nk, Amber Rose, Ginnifer Goodwin, Rhinna, Ellen Degeneres) I actually had to stop and take a moment to rack my brain for that small list, if that tells you anything. (From Lou: Michelle Williams!!)
But back to Miley. This chick is everything I despise: Cookie Cutter, Disney manufactured, faux-tantalizing malarkey. And don’t get me started on how she threw Annie Leibovitz under the bus for that Vanity Fair spread… But I digress.
Miley took her cutesy little topknot and chopped it off.
And guess what? Chick don’t have *no wear* to hide.
But here’s the silver lining… When you don’t have your hair to hide behind, you become more tough, more brazen, more daring with your style. You wear more make up… Scratch that. You wear more exaggerated, fun, exciting makeup. You don’t have to be “pretty” anymore and instead can be a fucking badass. I think she looks pretty dope.
And you couldn’t have paid me to say that before.
Lou here. I just want to give a quick steez shout out to my lady friend Lindsey. She might kill me for saying this, but when I first saw Miley’s new hair, I immediately thought of her and the first time we met. I had a major girl crush on her because her HAIR was SO rad. And she’s just a majorly awesome babe, so that helped too. I was so impressed with her ballsiness. Going from this:
Gradually to this:
Being a complete baby about changing my hair, I was so attracted to the audacity she displayed with a not so simple shorn. I totally wanted to be her friend. And then I was. And it was awesome.
Thanks to Crystal for admitting she thinks Miley Cyrus is a badass (for the record, I also think she looks awesome with her new ‘do). Until next time … tell us your stories about short hair. Seems to me it’s a right of passage we all go through, or should go through, unless you’re a total pussy like me and can only get to this length before bitching out.