Music Festival or Asshole Parade?

I don’t think I actually care that people completely change their fashion for three days of music in the California desert, but I do think it’s pretty ridiculous how many celebrities and “celebrities” go to Coachella every year just to see and be seen all while looking like they’re going to the hippie equivalent of a Renaissance Fair.

It’s just that, I read a lot of gossip blogs and I certainly don’t see the extent of celebrity fashion parading around Bonnaroo, Lolapalooza, or the lesser known Sasquatch in our very own PNW. If everyone wants to dress up like a slutty Woodstock flashback at Coachella, why don’t I have the pleasure of seeing the same ding dongs putting on flannels and grungy Doc Martins for Lolapalooa?

I’m guessing it has something to do with the fact that this particular festival is held in California, celebrity mecca, but still, every year around this time I chuckle to myself when I see things like this:

Vanessa Hudgens. Repeat Offender. Or how about this monstrosity:

Or Jesus Effing Christ, THIS. The ultimate hot mess of all hot messes…who just reminded me I need to write the post regarding my extreme dislike of these hideous Jeffery Campbell shoes:

It’s my humble opinion, but I even think Victoria Secret supermodels look pretty stupid exhibiting this much “Try.

Great legs though, Jesus:

I know we can’t all be natural fashion chameleons like Kate Moss, shown here at Glastonberry like she owns that shit. And I know..she fucks rock stars and sings and overall can do no fashion wrong, but still, it looks pretty natural for someone of her caliber to go from her regular clothing repertoire to straight up festival garb…unlike those idiots above who just look like they’re at an idiot parade.

I just think it would do us all some good, especially in Portland where costume is practically encouraged, and especially in summer when people do ridiculous things with their wardrobes, to remember how stupid you can look when you’re trying too hard. Coachella just happens to be my favorite example.

And while I was going to write about the threat to the integrity of the musicians when confronted with a cesspool of washed up starlets looking like a bad acid flashback, I realized I’d rather not get too serious. I’ll leave that to you and the comments section if you like. Or, you can, like me, just enjoy the asshole parade that descends on this music festival every year without fail. It’s so embarrassingly funny to me.