Dying Over These Swim Suits …

Ok whoa whoa whoa hold up. To begin, thank you dear reader, Alyssa, for bringing this to my attention. 

Second, let me just say … Decaykini. Hellkini. Slasherkini … no no, you read right. It IS what you’re thinking. Only better. And brought to you by Etsy purveyor Bloodlust Productions.

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I just … 

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You think these bikinis would be absolutely perfect for me! I mean, there isn’t much more in this world I love more than horror and creep stuff, but I am just not sure that I could put this type of stuff on my VAGINA. Not even if it is made from fucking rad ass horror effect materials and inspired by all of my favorite types of spooky shit. 

I haven’t even given you my best example … ahem. 

 

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Look how hyped and sexy that girl is – now look between her legs. I die.

 

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…………

 

………..

It is very … metal. 

And honestly, I am obsessed with the concept and the execution. The shit looks really well made and I got a sewing machine solely for the purpose of making a line of “Murder Skirts” (hitting a retailer near year you, Fall 2019), so obviously I’m into it. It’s just so fucking ludicrous and weird and gnarly and really just, drives me to awed speechlessness. 

Please, please go check them out and if you buy anything, you HAVE to send me pictures immediately. Because these suits really are pretty fucking epic. 

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Like, there’s texture … 

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And most of them will only set you back $85 – $100.

OMG their skirts! Their masks! Yeah I said it … skirts!!! 

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It’s too much. I’m obsessed. I pray to the Antichrist I see someone wearing something from these folks someday. 

Again … go check them out, especially if you’re anything of a horror geek like myself. Swim suits are made to order. That’s pretty legit.

xoxo, 

Lou

 

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Never Shop Sober

God DAMNIT! How many of us know I suffer from buyer’s anxiety? Well if you don’t know, now you know.

I think this is obviously a direct result of all my years being a broke ass college student and all the subsequent debt I’ve accrued. These days I’m afraid to buy anything unless it’s wrapped in a tortilla or comes served in a bar glass. Which is why I still look to my sister for hand-me-downs and strive to be a better thrifter and constantly look at my sewing machine and lament the fact that I still have not mastered its capabilities.

But I think I found a cure to this shopping induced stress … find something that stresses me out more.

I got a new job. Yay! It pays me more money. Yay! I’m hella fucking stressed out about the change and the newness and the unknown and so last night it was easy – too easy – for me to drop $100 on clothes I don’t really need all while DEAD SOBER.

Every time I wear the below dress, shoes, or pants … I am going to think of fear and nothing else. Haha ok so probably not, but dang. Is this a step forward or a step back? I can’t tell.

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JuJu Jellies

In my defense I have been thinking about buying these for months! I keep seeing them on my Instagram feed and admire them and blah blah and I’ve seen them sell for $60 and I think I bought these for $50 and low and behold that $10 off was all I needed to feel completely and finally justified in making my purchase.

Very tempted to follow these up with JuJu Petra  in bronze and JuJu Vicky in green or pink or something. Will hold off for next wave of anxiety to hit.

Um, this 90’s dress.

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Whatever. It was on sale and has a really cute zipper up the back. Daisies. I can’t believe I bought something covered in daisies.

Oh and then I got some really cute high-waisted skinny jeans that I just now read about while searching for a snapshot. Apparently they run very small … so I probably botched that purchase. Obviously! The entire thing might be botched. I might be sending it all back. Probably not, but point is, the takeaway here is that had I had booze, I probably would not have paid for this stuff.

Never shop sober. Got it.

xoxo, Lou

Poll Time: Snail Slime on Your Face, yay or nay?

Awhile back … a way while back, I did a poll on fish pedicures. Click Here to see.

Most people were into it! A whopping 46%.

29%, including yours truly said no, fuck off. For some reason it really skeezes me out. All that dead skin …

And 25% said they might consider it depending on their level of sobriety.

So ok, how about this one: snail facials.

First off, they prices are fucking steep. $100 for 5 minutes? Those snails better be shitting gold all over my skin, you know?

Second off, it looks gnarly.

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Before I poll you, you have to go to bbc.co.uk. and watch the video. Thems the rules.

Done? Ok now tell me: